there are a lot of times, especialy lately, when I've wondered why it is that God has chosen to bless me the way He has. If you look at history, there are so many people that lived horrid lives, in squalor, famine, slavery, war. Why wasn't I killed in the Hiroshima bombing? Why wasn't I a peasant in Frace during the 100 years war? Why am I not a sex slave in Thailand? Why has God chosen to give so much good in my life?

and I don't know. I don't understand.

But it is a powerful responsibility. And it frightens me, sometimes. I've been given so many gifts-- in my upbringing, my experiences, and so much more-- and to squander them or discount them or not live up to them? How can I possibly justify all the petty things I do or the lazy lifestyle I lead when I have so much opportunity? I mean, I have a Bible! And I have time! And I'm literate and in an environment that supports this and oh!

I just don't know.